If nothing else, being a colorblind artist has demonstrated that making, and learning from, my own mistakes is a valuable lesson in itself.

As long as I can remember, I have always loved making art. I have been drawing ever since I was a little kid and for some reason the process has continuously stuck with me in one way or another. I liked elementary school art classes, as it was basically a carefree, do-as-you-please environment, so it didn’t matter if I drew a guy with green skin or yellow skin. But as I got older there was more critiquing and questioning of my work, especially when colors were involved. I used to be really shy about my colorblindness and tried to hide it, but I eventually just accepted it as an issue I have to deal with. I wasn’t crazy about my art classes in high school, because it was very structured and included mandatory assignments that I didn’t necessarily care about. But, still having a passion for art, I went to college for graphic design. I figured it was close enough to art but was also something with career potential.

The Overseer, Oil on Canvas, 30″ x 24″, 2012
Wires (III), Oil on Canvas, 18″ x 14″, 2012

At the beginning of college I took a color theory class with an encouraging instructor who said it didn’t matter if an artist was colorblind. She talked about one of her former students who could barely see color, just mostly greys, yet he was a brilliant colorist and one of the best students she ever had in the course. Later on I took a painting class and worked with acrylic and watercolors, but I really didn’t acquire a whole lot from that class creatively. It had potential, but I was more frustrated than anything else. Most of the work I produced sucked beyond belief, so I put painting on hold and didn’t try it again for several years.

I used to be really shy about my colorblindness and tried to hide it, but I eventually just accepted it as an issue I have to deal with.

I like to think of my approach to painting as Quentin Tarantino’s outlook on his own credentials, which goes: “When people ask me if I went to film school I tell them, ‘no, I went to films.’” For me, I just went to museums, studied art books, read about artists, watched documentaries, and completely immersing myself in art. I pretty much just said, fuck it, and just worked. Now after working in oil paint for the past few years I have learned a lot, however I have a long way to go. I don’t think I can ever master painting, but I think I have a fairly good understanding of it. And, at least for now, I don’t consider my colorblindness a hurdle so much. I see it more as a boundary or a guide to use the colors that work best for me.

Each piece I paint has a very limited amount of color diversity, as I mostly use browns, blacks and whites with the occasional blue, a bit of yellow and/or red mixed in. I try to stay away from the colors I have the most difficulty mixing (greens, purples, certain shades of red and orange) and have learned to mix two or three of my choice colors together knowing what exact pigment I want. I want to see my paintings the same as how others see them. I am very critical of my own work, but I’m also confident in my ability because I work hard at it and continue to do so. Sometimes it takes me several weeks or even months to decide the color, composition and size, what I want to paint and how I will paint it. Occasionally I’ll work on some studies for a long time, and then end up scrapping the whole thing because it’s not good enough. This is a process for me, and I still have a lot to learn and absorb in developing as an artist. But the greatest lesson I’ve learned so far is to just keep at it. Keep working and pushing yourself, and soon the color will emerge.